HOW SLEEP DEPRIVATION AFFECTS YOUR RELATIONSHIP

What is it about you having a lousy night’s sleep that makes everyone else around us seem so awful? You have a night of broken, interrupted, just plain bad sleep, and the next day people are driving like idiots and asking you the same stupid question at work that you’ve already answered half a dozen times. Seriously, is the universe just messing with you? Maybe. But a more likely explanation is that your lack of sleep is making it impossible for you to react rationally to frustrating situations. Researchers from the University of Arizona released a study back in 2006 that showed people who were deprived of sleep over a 55 hour period had:

• An increased tendency to blame others for problems

• Reduced willingness to alleviate a conflict situation by accepting blame

• Increased aggression

• Lower willingness to behave in ways that facilitate effective social interaction

I know this might not seem like especially earth-shattering news, but it speaks to a broader point. So let’s imagine that you and your partner are the proud parents of a new baby which means you have to make a zillion decisions about parenting and come to agreements with your partner.

How SLEEP DEPRIVATION Affects Your Relationship

What time should we put him to bed? What do we do when he starts crying? Who is handling night wakings? Are we going to breastfeed? Are we able to? How will we discipline?  Those are all questions that need to be agreed upon and then reevaluated if things aren’t going smoothly.  So here you are, faced with all of these decisions, you’re frustrated because things aren’t going smoothly to begin with, and to top it all off, your ability to recognize and respond to each other in a rational, civilized manner has been seriously compromised. Two people forced to debate the most important decisions they’re likely to make in their lives, and you are doing it while sleep deprived. On top of that, couples who don’t get enough sleep are less likely to show gratitude towards each other, and significantly more likely to feel unappreciated, according to Amie Gordon, a doctorate candidate in social-personality psychology at UC Berkeley. And as though that’s not enough, consider the fact that lack of sleep decreases libido. Yikes. Now, loads of couples get through this period in their lives with their partnership intact, and I’m not trying to suggest that sleep deprivation is going to be the end of your relationship but it certainly doesn’t help.

Babies are amazing though, right? What can possibly compare with those first few months when you and your partner stand over the crib together and look down on that precious new life that the two of you created together? The closeness you feel to your partner at that time is unmatched, and it’s a period in your life that deserves to be cherished. That’s not so easy to do if you and your partner are constantly fighting because neither of you are getting enough sleep. There are so many reasons to make your little one’s sleep a priority when it comes to their well-being, but I’d ask you to take a selfish little detour for a moment and consider what it can mean for you, your partner, and your relationship. After all, if there’s one gift your kids always appreciate, it’s seeing their parents happy, united, and in love.

Commit to getting your little one sleeping through the night and see how you feel once you’re all getting the rest you need. The results, I promise you, are nothing short of amazing.

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