KEEP YOUR TODDLER IN THEIR BED!

For many parents, getting their baby to sleep through the night is a life-changing event. I know it certainly was for me. Waking up every hour or two to the sounds of a crying baby was absolutely exhausting. So needless to say, when I finally started sleep training and my baby learned to sleep through the night without any help from me, it felt like nothing short of a miracle.

To tell you the truth though, I’m starting to get a bit nervous.  Trent is now a walking, talking,climbing toddler who is completely capable of getting out of his crib (although he hasn’t done it yet).   I’m just waiting for the day he decides to put that skill to use.  Now he also has the ability to use stall and negotiation tactics. Toddlers are just a whole other ball game!  It’s human nature for them to test behaviors and actions to see if they get them what they’re after, and when they find something that works, they tend to use it repeatedly. So if asking for a glass of water gets mom back into the room, or asking to use the bathroom helps to satisfy their curiosity about what’s going on outside of their room after hours, they’re likely to use the same approach every time. That can be a comforting fact to keep in your mind when you’re walking your child back to their room for the fifteenth time since you sat down to watch your favorite show.

Now, bearing in mind that yelling is just going to upset everyone, and that giving in will just encourage more of the same behavior, how do we get a toddler to stay in their room without letting the situation escalate? Consequences, mama. Consequences are the key. I should start off hereby saying that I think it’s only fair to always give a warning before implementing a consequence for unwanted behavior. If your child leaves their room, ask them why they’re not in bed. Assuming the answer isn’t because they’re not feeling well, then you can calmly but firmly tell them that they’re not allowed out of their room until morning. Walk them back to bed, say goodnight, give them a quick smooch, and let them know that there will be a consequence if they leave their room again. Hopefully, that does the trick.More than likely though, it won’t. When they show up in the living room again,saying that they forgot to tell you something, or that they can’t find their lovey (which is, probably in their hand as they say this) it’s time to implement that consequence.

Now we get to the big question, right? What’s the consequence? All kids are different and you may have to get creative about what will work for yours. I’ve had a lot of parents express that they don’t want to do anything to upset their child.  I totally understand this line of thinking, but really, what is a consequence if it’s not something unpleasant? The trick here is to find a balance between something that your child doesn’t mind and something that really throws them into a tailspin, because we don’t want to traumatize anyone here. We’re just looking for something unpleasant enough to dissuade the behavior. Understanding that every child is different and that nothing works for everyone, I do have a simple trick that I’ve found to be incredibly effective in this situation, and it’s as simple as closing a door. In fact, that’s the trick. Close the bedroom door. There’s something about having the bedroom door closed all the way until it latches that toddlers really seem to dislike. You don’t have to do it for long. Just a minute for the first offence, then bump it up by thirty seconds or so every time your toddler leaves their room that night. Like I said, this is a form of consequence and if your child doesn’t like it, well, that’s kind of the point, right? Before too long, they should start to recognize the negative consequences of leaving their room, and they’ll stay in bed unless they have an actual issue.

That covers the night, but what about the morning? We’ve all gotten that surprise visit from our little ones at 5:15 AM, asking us if it’s morning yet, and you really can’t hold that against them. Chances are that they legitimately woke up and didn’t know if it was time to get out of bed or not. Your saving grace here is an ok-to-wake clock. There are tons of options on Amazon and they range from about $25 to $50. These sweet little gadgets give your child a visual representation of when it’s morning. Just stay away from any that shine blue light, as it simulates sunlight, which can make it tougher to get back to sleep.

Consistency is key here guys. You absolutely have to stick to your guns once you’ve given the warning. Be patient, be calm, but be firm and predictable. Once they realize that you’re not giving in, you’ll be free to break out the good snacks and turn on the TV without fear of being discovered.